Friday, October 9, 2009

From old to oldest


On our plane trip form Atlanta to Munich, a little mishap took play.
It was late at night, dark, and all of the plane lights were off. Now, being that I didn't get barely a wink of sleep this past week, and all through the plane ride, I was pretty out of it. After trying to not drink too much so I wouldn't have to go the bathroom a lot, I finally had to give in to get up and take a pee. I shuffled my way to the bathroom half asleep, then waited a couple minutes to take my turn in the delightful airplane bathroom. I tried to pee all that I could...I kinda get tensed up in those tiny turbulent bathrooms, and end up getting ready only to find that nothing comes out. After finishing I was looking forward to getting back to my seat, and trying to sleep a bit. Christoph has been sleeping in the window seat, so I ventured to find my way back to him.
Now, remember it is very dark, and we were seated in one of the last rows on the plane. Unfortunately I couldn't remember which row. I looked and looked until finally I spotted my new husband.
For some reason Christoph had covered himself up with his suit jacket in that short amount of time I had been gone, and surprisingly he also had the time to change his pants. I was sure he was wearing dark pants. Oh well, I just sat right beside him, and put my hand on his "very" upper thigh. Just wait, this is what makes it so funny. I sit down, start to go to take a peek under his jacket to say hello, and I hear my name "Hillary!" A couple rows up I see my husband Christoph staring at me in utter shock, no jacket over his head, in fact he looked just the way I thought he should.
Blood instantly rushed to my face, taking my stomach with it. "Oh Shit" I squeeked quietly aloud.(excuse my language but I really couldn't think of anything else to say.)
I awkwardly ran back to my seat, dove onto Christoph's lap and buried my head, reeking of embarrassment. He was laughing and terrified all in the same time. Peeking through the crack in the seat, I barely turned my head back to see if the guy knew someone had just touched his leg, almost his crotch. His head came out from under his jacket, dazed and confused. He was about 70 years old, white hair and had a big uneasy smile on his face. That makes it even better.
His friend was apparently behind him, so he looked back at his friend, and said "Who just touched me?" His friend said, "I don't know I was sleeping."
"Oh, that was so weird, maybe I was dreaming, I was sure I felt someone put their hand on my leg." He replied.
I couldn't face him. Since he wasn't sure himself, I thought I would let him think that a beautiful angel came down and gave him a little squeeze on his "very" upper thigh. This would be the better option over saying "Hi sir, I thought you were my husband, I'm sorry I touched you inappropriately. Could you please not file a sexual harassment suit against me?"
What an embarrassment. After realizing what I had just done, Christoph and I couldn't stop laughing for the longest time. To this day I'm sure that this poor old man thinks some....well, I'm not sure what he thinks.
What a great way to start our honeymoon. Let's hope the rest of it goes just as entertaining. Only I would do such a thing, and I think the rest of you know that as well.
Not only did I marry a bit of an older man, I thought I would try for even older. 70 is the new 30.

3 comments:

Jesie said...

70 is the new 30. lovely story. i miss you already. i bet that old man knows it was you, and will probably follow you on your honeymoon.

a bit dislogistic said...

Ya I bet! Im surprised the old man didn't have a heart attack! We had a crazy start to our honey moon aswell. What email are you checking most frequently?

Anonymous said...

What words... super, a magnificent idea