Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tame that deer!


What do you do when you have an absolutely ridiculous question? You are too afraid to ask an actual person, so you what? You Google it.
I was doing just that when I had the question. "What are some good hobbies for women?" Interestingly enough it came up with endless possibilities, some of which include blogging, reading, learning a different language, exercising, cooking, playing or learning an instrument. It's funny because I already do all of these things although I still find myself with some spare time. It's not everyone who has to fill up their day with hobbies. I was not satisfied with what Google had given until I came upon this website. I needed something different. Something that no one else does. This is the list that I got.

1. body painting
2. underwater photography
3. rice sculpture
4. exploring extra sensorial capacities, through different methods like hypnosis
5. aerobics in the water
6. animal communication
7. making stunts
8. cooking zany food
9. making robots
10. stars watching
11. taming wild animals
12. exploring volcanoes and underwater caves
13. hobbies related to the religions of the world
14. traveling and exploring exotic countries.

As you see in this picture wild animals take to me well, so the hobby number 11 "taming wild animals" immediately caught my eye. In the forests here they have some deer. This would be it. Now I would begin my new adventure training one of the worlds most peaceful animal, the deer. I could really make something out of this. I will first sow myself (I do know how to sow now) a ranger outfit. Hat included. I think it should be bright purple, this way the deer know me as someone special and not just another forest ranger. I should probably get a boy scouts guide, they usually really know what they are talking about. I think it would also be suffice to get myself a gun. You never know when a wild animal could turn on you. I think I even know what I will teach them. To their benefit, I will train them in hi speed runs, so they will be more apt to escape predators. I will teach them that the roads are off limits, keeping the deer fatality rate at a low. I will also teach them to transport humans and construct a special deer saddle so that it makes for a more comfortable ride.
Deer are surely going to be the new horse.

I believe number 6 comes hand in hand with taming wild animals. You have to have a gift, so communicate with the animals first. I believe I attained this gift after almost being strangled by a dog when I was in the 5th grade. It grabbed my scarf on a wintery day, and almost choked me to death. I whispered to it because I couldn't speak in a normal voice, "Let go" It finally did leaving me with only a bloody nose and dark circles around my eyes.
Another time would have been when I was 12. A stray dog came up to me in a parking lot. I looked at it intensly in the eyes and thought to myself "Go away stray dog"
It turned around and left.

I am also an expert fisherman. I tell the fish. "Bite my line....right now"
They bite!

I already have number 14 under my belt. I live in Germany! hello! I can cross that one off now.

I don't think my husband would appreciate me trying out different religions of the world. He told me I could never wear a Burka so that one is out.

I think my second choice would be making a robot. Not very many people do this. I think I have the time and the money to create a little robot creature to do my chores for me. To be my surrogate and take my place in the world. I will never have to leave the closet again! Yes. I could give it special gifts. I could be beautiful and perfect all the time. I could eat whatever I wanted. I could be a special agent and fight the real humans from using a special gun to kill all of the robots. Maybe Bruce Willis could help me out even. I know he like robots.

I think I have a lot to get busy with so I'll keep you informed on how it's going.

I can't wait to meet Bambie.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny!!!!keep me laughing! i love you! mom

Lynda said...

I always tell people that I only learnt to speak fluent German so that I could understand what my husband was saying when he was talking to his friends... when I finally understood enough, I discovered that usually they just talk absolute rubbish! All that work! LOL I also thought that everybody was having an argument, because the language can sound so agressive...