Monday, July 5, 2010

No title today

As much as I love spiders and how they creep and crawl and are always in places that surprise you, I never ever again want to find one in my bed ever again. They've been in my shower, on my lap while sitting at a nice restaraunt, in my clothes, my towels, my hair, but today was an entire new surprise when I had one dead in my bed! I must have when I was sleeping subconciously known that I needed to kill a spider. They have been everywhere on and around me, finding me wherever I am. Every time I get scared about a spider, Christoph say's, "They don't bite in Germany, they wont hurt you." I know that by now thank you darling husband, but I still don't like them. They are evil and every time I see one I will have Christoph kill it. The one in my bed I killed but only because I didn't know it was there. Stay away spiders. It's bad enough Germany has horse flies that attack and bite you when you get out of any sort of body of water. You have to rush to dry yourself off because apparently they like little beads of water. Creepy little b.........

Can you tell I love the bugs here. They are a delight.

I've started my new job, and I must say I think I am going to like it. I am the new events planner for the Gruener company. This is a big step for me going form the cleaning lady to the events planner. I am pretty excited about it. I only work two days a week, and when I have my baby I can even work from home. It's creative and just up my alley. You're probably wondering what happened with the whole kitchen business we were going to begin? Well, at the moment we can't find a building so that part is on hold. We are trusting that everything that has happened is for a reason only God knows. We found ourselves in a place that was out of our control and sometimes that makes you take a step back and look at why and for what reasons did this happen. It could be that God is protecting us from such a disasterous thing, and that we need to wait on it. That's what trust is about right? To make a decision in the direction that not knowing what will happen or how it will happen, give up control and let it be. I need to do this in many areas of my life. I must say this has been a year of lesson after lesson in how to trust and I still feel like I want control and don't want to let things go. What makes us as humans so reluctant to just live and let go? I think it is a mixture of many different things in our life that we have taken credit for. If something wonderful happens you think, 'I've got this under control now and if I am just always in control then everything will turn out ok. You forget that the One who actually made it happen was not you but in fact God. This is why I think God sometimes let's us fail, so that we can examine who we are, broken and in need of something greater than us. So we can come to the understanding once again we are no more in control of when we live or die, than we are in control of what happens in a day. I will give you an example.

Yesterday we went to church and I have been pretty down about church lately. That part doesn't really matter because I was being selfish anyways. I was expecting something, the same old thing, and something completely different happened. The moment I arrived to church I changed my mind set. I disregaurded the fact that when I cannot say everything I want to say to make my personality and who I am come out because of the language barrier. I thought, I'm just going to say as much German as I am capable of and if I sound like an idiot I don't really care. You get to the point when speaking a different language that you just have to go for it and be open to making mistakes. So I did this trusting that God was in control. Normally I just wouldn't say much. Funny thing happens when you do that. I go in expecting one thing and come out amazed at what God does. This goes for everything in our lives, this thing called trust. I know I will never master it but I can sure grow in it.

No comments: