Saturday, October 9, 2010

When Animals Attack


I love my cat, but sometimes I just don't know what to do when she gets crazy. Since she was a little kitten she has always been a feisty cat, and this comes as no surprise being that every animal I have owned in my lifetime has been either crazy or stupid, not including my childhood best friends Abby and Tiger. The best dog and cat ever. In general though, I have had some winners of animals including our cat Golda. She was evil, but on the other hand I was about 3 years old when I put her in the dryer before we went on vacation for 3 days. We later gave her away to a farm. There was my snake Balfazar that I shared with my roommate, and I couldn't stand having him anymore being that we had to feed it the cutest little mice every week. We kept one once because it was so cute. There was my sugar glider that didn't let me touch it unless I wanted to hear the creepiest noise in the world. My two turtles were pretty low key, not crazy or anything. I once had a rabbit that actually danced, leaped and frolicked in our backyard. His name was cookie and he later got eaten by a fox. My angry purple bird was eaten by my cat. I always caught bugs and kept them as pets in my pink Kabootle. Fish were of coarse one of my favorites, but they were quickly replaced as well. I once made my parents let me bring home 10 crabs in their shells that I caught on our Padre Island vacation. 15 hours in the car ride home with a bowl full of crabs in the back seat reeking the place up. I believe the only reason my mom let me do this was because she knew they would die and wanted the pretty shells they lived in. I mean, I can't imagine my dad actually thinking that table salt would turn regular water into oceanic salt water. They didn't really die but rather disintegrated.

Yes, it was one of my many childhood dreams to become a veterinarian. Then I discovered that even watching animals die on TV was an unpleasant experience for me and that being a vet would mean I would have to see this perhaps everyday.
Nowadays I am less interested in animals and more interested in paying the bills, which is what I believe happens to most childhood animal lovers unless they go so far as to be a member of PITA. This reminds me of the other day when Christoph and I were walking around Lindau (a small town on lake constance) and noticed a smaller, older female army of animal rights ladies marching around holding signs with pictures of ducks being force fed by machines, and baby chickens getting their feet stuck in wires, attached with the saying "Don't eat mistreated animal meat". The question that Christoph and I had was, how on earth are we supposed to know if our delicious chicken breast got its feet stuck in some wire? Very disturbing pictures to look at while you are trying to enjoy some ice cream. Two feet behind these people came walking an older, farmer sort of looking guy who yells very loudly with a smug smile on his face..."Eat more chicken and meat! Eat more chicken and meat!" He was satisfied with himself as the poor ladies turn around and gave him nasty looks.

What I was trying to get was to tell you of my daily routine walking from the bathroom to my bedroom every evening. For some reason it only happens in the evening and it only hapepns to me. Our sweet little Velvie cat has some serious issues. You see, I get ready for bed, brush my teeth and so on to later head back to the bedroom as I am tired and done for the day. This is of coarse in my cats mind the perfect time for attack. Her victim is tired, and not so quick to block the attack. Perfect timing.
With my bed on my mind all of the sudden I hear the take off of kitty hiding behind the wall coming around the corner and if I am quick enough I can block her, but in most cases she is just too quick for me. Before I know it here teeth are sinking into my calves and I am screaming once again. As Christoph thinks this is very funny and is laughing in the bedroom, I am left frustrated and confused, wondering what I did to deserve such behavior. I lose it. And putting up with it every night is getting to be a bit of a problem. Curious as to why she does this I decided to research it. Turns out she just has some spasms from being cooped up all day and attacking her owner is the only way she can express this. i think an owner of PITA write that so I wouldn't hit her anymore after she did that. I decided it might be a good idea to start letting her outside. We'll see if it gets better, otherwise I am going to have to wear rubber boots in the trip from the bathroom to the bedroom. Posted above is the little devil herself.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Just like Samson






















Have you ever heard the song "Fly trapped in a Jar" by Modest Mouse? Well, this is the exact song that entered my mind the other night while watching some new Office episodes in bed with my husband. Christoph, as some of you may know has been blessed with luxurious locks of beautiful hair, including a generous amount on his chest. As we were sitting there laughing at the many wonderful things that Dwight does, I noticed a little miniature moth flying around my face annoying me. Then it started to annoy CHristoph, and I litarally thought to myself as I do when bugs fly in my face...'I want that dead'. Just as I thought that the little moth flew down and landed on Christoph's hairy chest and got strapped, like a fly trapped in a jar, or a moth trapped in a Christoph's web. Immediately after, CHristoph swatted his chest with the poor little moth underneath and this moths days of annoying people were over. When this happened I laughed because the whole situation was funny, but then I realized something. Christoph, in his wonderful little way has a way of giving me exactly what I want, even if that means trapping a moth in his chest hair and saving me from being annoyed. It's as if he read my mind and said,"I'll get it with my super powerful chest hair!" Just like Samson, his power is in his hair. Christoph, I promise I will never cut your chest hair in the middle of the night, otherwise you might lose all of your strength.

This past weekend was our one year anniversary, so we decided to celebrate it at the a little place called the Hibertus in the Algoy, (that's not how you spell it) which is the beginning of the German alps. We spent part of our honeymoon there and had a marvelous time, so we thought repeating it would be a good idea. Unfortunately this time it wasn't quite the same. Along with our waiter ignoring us at dinner so that we didn't get to leave until 10pm, a great many other annoying little things happened that shouldn't happen at such a place. One of them was my fault and it's the most awful one so let me tell you that part. It was about 3 am when I woke up and needed desperately a drink of water. I had forgotten that I had left my water bottle next to my bed incase this would happen, but I also had to use the toilette so a trip to the bathroom would have been necessary anyways. After I went to the bathroom I looked in the mirror just to see how awful I look at 3 in the morning as I picked up the glass drinking cup sitting next to the sink. I filled up my water glass, gulped the thing down as I noticed something on the side of my face which had not been there before. Mind you I was half asleep, and when you see a giant pillow mark when you are half asleep you are caught a little bit off gaurd by what exactly it is at first. Startled by not quite knowing what was wrong with my face, being half asleep, and so on I dropped my glass drinking cup to bounce once off one side of the sink, bounce another time off the other side, and finally crash into a million pieces onto the tile floor. It all happened so fast that even if I was completely awake I would have not been able to prevent this from happening. Blame it on the pillow mark, or on the fact that 3am is not my best hour, it happened none the less and breaking the glass was not all that happened. After swearing a couple times in my head hoping I didn't wake Christoph up, I look down to see that a quarter sized chunk had chipped out of this probably 1000 dollar sink by my meezly little drinking glass revealing a nasty dark spot. Now I had to wake Christoph up. Do you know that feeling when something terrible happens and you try to justify it in your head of why it shouldn't have happened, I did that a lot in this moment. Christoph woke immediately but I don't really think he was actually awake, and asked me with a not quite pronounced yell, "What happened!" I explained the situation the best I could not even really knowing myself what happened and it went on from there. Christoph was tired, I was tired and in this stupid hotel at 3 in the morning we had a stupid fight because of a stupid drinking glass.
The next day we thought we would be honest and tell the front desk what had happened. Two days prior Christoph has just given me a speech about how the honest person is always the loser, even though he does the right thing. I guess in this moment he was quite right. The hotel decided they were going to charge for an entire new sink and installation for this little incident and probably with a very hefty bill I might add. To our knowledge we had no insurance for such a thing, and were prepared to suffer the concequences and tried to enjoy our anniversary day none the less with eating some ice cream and writing each other letters on the Lake Constance harbor. Despite the mishap it was the best anniversary I could have imagined and I can't believe that I have been married for one year with a baby on the way. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my wonderful husband falling more in love with him everyday.
The good news is, Christoph later called his mom who gave us some pretty great information. We did have insurance through the Gruener business on things like your wife breaking stuff in hotel rooms. The perfect ending to the perfect day.