Creatures of the Sea

I realized today that I am a Remora fish. You may have seen Remora fish on the discovery channel, or if you have encountered a shark in real life. They are the fish always swimming beside or underneath a shark either trying to stay safe from other predators, take care of the sharks parasites, or get bits of food that the shark left behind. I realized that many of these things resemble me when I followed my shark of a husband around all day yesterday. I feel safe when I am with him, I do tell him to shower a lot so that is keeping the parasites/bacteria off of him, and I eat anything and everything especially if he doesn't want it. The main part of it is that I always follow him around. We had just been from the ADAC to get my drivers licence translated, from the bank to get me my own debit card, from the pharmacy to get some hair products. Sometimes I feel like I would get swallowed up by another big fish if I didn't stay beside him. I feel like I could not go anywhere without him. Whether this is a healthy thing or not, it is what I need at this point and time of my life.

Coming to Germany has been like being reborn without a voice, a sense of direction, or a common sense of know how. It's everyday things I was taking fro granted in my life back in the states. You really underestimate the power to speak in the native tongue when you need to know exactly where to find the Caro Syrup in the grocery store. But reality has set in for me lately. I AM living here, and I AM going to have to get around by myself if I want to grow up and get my voice back. I need to start swimming out in the deep blue by myself and learn how to stand up to those old German ladies cutting me in line. To be able to speak to people in their own language and make new friends. I am getting there, slowly but surely. Before I had my husband to follow around and do things with, I had my best friend Jesie. There was even a point in my life I was too scared to play piano for our high school chapel service so she sat beside me on the piano bench while I played. Funny enough, people actually thought she was the one playing and started congratulating her:) We loved it.

Since I was little I have always been one to eat lots of strange things then have strange noises come out of me afterwards. I would like to tell you a little story of what happened on our way down to Gerstetten. Last week before we left our apartment to travel for 6 hours down south I always like to pack some little snacks for our journey. I usually make Christoph a PB and J sandwich because he eats like a toddler and so do I so I also include cottage cheese, PB and apples. Banana's if we are lucky. Oh and don't forget the rice cakes. Ok so I pack them in a little bag and then we are on our way. This time I wanted to spice things up a bit and there was one thing in the fridge that was not used when I made Mac n' Cheese the other day. Fake crab meat! I love it. Yes I know there is gluten in it but this was when I was going to try and eat gluten again.
So a couple hours later around lunch time,I get a bit hungry for my fishy friends and I break out the fake crab meat. Christoph was oblivious to what I was doing until......"Ah! What is that smell? Gag, gag gag. What on earth are you eating?"
He then looks at my and I have a crab roll hanging out of my mouth. "That's sick, why are you eating that?"

Ok, so maybe crab meat is not the best thing to eat when you are in a tiny car traveling for 6 hours. In my defense I am getting pretty sick of the alternative cottage cheese and rice cakes so....there you have it.

I love fake meat!


Lynda said…
Hang in there kiddo... one day you will find yourself doing something completely normal and marvel at how far you have come. Strangly, my sister doesn't speak a word of german, but managed to kick butt when she was here over Xmas... rotten table in a restaurant...she had the waiter rearranging within seconds, while Mr Dear Husband and I just stood there. If they didn't do what she wanted, she just spoke louder and faster in English! It was great.

As for the fake crab meat...that is gross... totally gross... you need to leave that alone.

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